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"The Craven" an appliance related Tale of Horror

Happy Halloween

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4 replies to this topic

#1 DurhamAppliance

DurhamAppliance

    Sho' Nuff Chozin

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Posted 31 October 2011 - 07:59 AM

THE CRAVEN
or If Edgar Allen Poe (Master Poe?) was an Appliantologist (and less talented)



Once upon a late night dreary, while I staggered, weak and beery
Over many a quaint bottles from the neighborhood store.
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping
As of someone barely rapping, rapping at my kitchen door
It's my girl, I stammered, "tapping at my kitchen door
Only this and nothing more"

Presently my soul grew stronger, hesitating then no longer
"Baby" said I, "truly your forgiveness I implore:
But the fact is I was dozing when you came a nozing
Around my kitchen door that I scarce was sure I heard you."
Then here I opened wide the door
...Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing
until the silence was quickly broken, scared to death I began choking
As the tapping. no the rapping, no the knocking I was sure,
Was the knock knock knocking of my GE's compressor.
The tell tale sign of death of my GE's compressor.

Nightmares of spending money, as I imagine my sweet honey
Shop, shop, shopping from store to store. "We must have a french door
A Wolf, a Sub Zero" she'd implore "or better yet a Thermador."
While in the background the constant knocking of my GE's compressor,
the knock knock knocking of my GE's compressor.

The knocking became a squeaking, as if the fridge was speaking
But it could not be no more than the state of my stupor,
Morphing sound into speech from the cursed compressor,
From the knock knock knocking of the cursed compressor.
"it's only the beer, and nothing more."

Then came an ungodly sound, my soul entranced, my mind spellbound
against its will to perform an act, to sell my soul through Faustian pact.
"Open my door" it forcefully roared, "the door to me, the Motherboard!"
Am I in hell or is this still the knocking, the constant knocking of my GE compressor?
I had to find out, I had to explore or was I compelled to remove the door.
or simply too craven to ignore.

The door fell open awakening evil inside. "Save me" it ordered, SAVE ME!" it cried
"Buy another fridge get another GE, Remove that board. Replace it with me!"
Suddenly from a drawer I withdrew a stake for fondue, From Hell's heart I stab at thee! From Hell's heart I run you through!"
What came over me? Something in my core? Something reinforced by Appliantology.org?
I continued the destruction while shouting at the board, "buy another GE, Huh? Ha!..............Nevermore!"


Edited by DurhamAppliance, 05 November 2011 - 02:14 PM.

Durham Appliance Thrift & Repair, LLC

www.DurhamApplianceThrift.com


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#2 Budget Appliance Repair

Budget Appliance Repair

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Posted 01 November 2011 - 04:55 AM

Very, Very creative Durham.

:thumbsup: That was really good did you write that yourself or find it somewhere?
William Burk (Willie)
Willie's Budget Appliance Repair
Eureka, CA 95501

#3 DurhamAppliance

DurhamAppliance

    Sho' Nuff Chozin

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Posted 01 November 2011 - 11:16 AM

Sometimes the muse just hits me. Of course with lots of "help" from Poe and a sprinkling of Melville.. Too bad you guys have to be on the receiving end when I just have to create something other than a repair bill.

Durham Appliance Thrift & Repair, LLC

www.DurhamApplianceThrift.com


#4 appl.tech.29501

appl.tech.29501

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Posted 07 November 2011 - 09:45 PM

That was absolutely awesome !!!
If you would like to make a donation you may do so at the link below

One on one repair help now available !

http://homepage.mac....ppl.tech.29501/

http://twitter.com/ApplTech29501

http://www.facebook.com/ApplTech29501

www.eliteapplianceservice.org

#5 john63

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Posted 08 November 2011 - 08:43 AM

<laugh>

I like it too---got a familiar ring to it. Edgar Allen Poe maybe?

Oops---Never mind---it's in the TITLE (Poe)...

Edited by john63, 08 November 2011 - 09:47 AM.

To eliminate:

Musty odor

L-O-N-G cycle times

Dingy/yellowing whites

Suds error message

Slow spin speeds

Intermittent water leaks (from rear of washer)

And other annoying symptoms which vary brand-to brand.

Read below:

The *correct* amount of HE (High Efficiency) detergent that should be used in any front load or agitatorless top load washer with tub sizes 3.0 cu ft and larger is as follows:

HE: (2) Tablespoons Per Wash Load

HE 2X: (1) Tablespoon

HE 3X: (1) Teaspoon

Perform a TUB CLEAN CYCLE every (4) months.

Use: "Tide Washing Machine Cleaner"






Recent blog entries on this topic

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What if Edgar Allen Poe was an Appliantologist?

By Samurai Appliance Repair Man in Samurai Appliance Repair Man's Blog, on 08 November 2011 - 08:58 AM

What do you get when you cross Edgar Allen Poe, Appliantology.org, and Chief Master Appliantologist DurhamAppliance ? Answer: The Craven

THE CRAVEN
or If Edgar Allen Poe (Master Poe?) was an Appliantologist (and less talented)



Once upon a late night dreary,...

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