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Applyricology, Best of Durham Music Vol 1

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DurhamAppliance

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FRIGIDAIRE TONIGHT (ie Phil Collins as an appliantologist singing a cautionary tale about an unprepared tech)

(click video then scroll down to the lyrics)

 

Got a call to fix a Frigidaire tonight, oh Lord

Should have prepared for this moment at Samurai's site, oh Lord

Here I come to fix your Frigidaire tonight, oh Lord , oh Lord

 

Well you told me your fresh food was freezing, asked if I would lend a hand

I've seen your face before my friend, but I don't know if you know who I am

So when I get there and I saw what it did, I saw it with my own two eyes

So you better wipe off that grin 'cause I don't think I'll win

For this manual is a pack of lies.

 

Got a call to fix a Frigidaire tonight, oh Lord

Should've prepared for this moment at Samurai's site, oh Lord

But I come to fix your Frigidaire tonight, oh Lord

Well I've been dreading of this moment with all my might, oh Lord, oh Lord

 

I must remember, I must remember to test lest I will forget

Check first the damper, the ADC, the fridge thermostat

Still don't know the reason why the fan won't silence up,

it's trying to fool me

Well the answer won't show, and the frost still grows

It's the strangest damn thing to me

 

Got a call to fix a Frigidaire tonight, oh Lord

Should've prepared for this moment at Samurai's site, oh Lord

Here I come to fix your Frigidaire tonight, oh Lord

I've been dreading of this moment with all my might, oh Lord, oh Lord

Still I come to fix Your Frigidaire tonight, oh Lord

Should have prepared for this moment at Samurai's site, oh Lord, oh Lord

Got a call to fix a Frigidaaiirree! Got a call to fix a Frigidaaiiiirrre!

Well I've been dreading of this moment with all my might ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight iiiiiiight!

Should have prepared for this moment at Samurai's site.... at his siiiiiiiiiite...

 

 

WITH JUST A FEW OF US

or if Grover Washington Jr (featuring Bill Withers) was an Appliantologist

(scroll, down and watch the video of brother KurtiusInterupptus show us just a taste of his amazing chops... and I mean this is but a fraction of what this dude can do! )

Your freezer's temps will not fall

Fresh food side won't cool at all

We know you think your fridge is through

To make that decision in your mind

We think you should give it a little time

And let us spend that time with you

With Just a few of us

You can fix it if you try

With just a few of us

(With just a few of us)

With just a few of us

Sending help from out the sky

With just a few of us

And Samurai.

Use our help, no time for tears

Wasted water's all that is

And it don't make no compressor go.

Good things might come to those who wait

Not for those who wait too late

So put to use the things we know

With just a few of us

You can fix it if you try

With just a few of us

(With just a few of us)

With just a few of us

Sending help from out the sky

With just a few of us

And Samurai.

You still don't hear ice cubes fall

In your fridge down the hall

Condensation grows like morning dew

But through our help when the morning comes

By the time you see the morning sun

Your fridge will cool as if brand new.

With Just a few of us

You have fixed it 'cause you tried

With just a few of us

(With just a few of us)

With just a few of us

Sent down help from way up high

Just a few of us

And Samurai.

With just a few of us

Yeaaaaaahhhhh just a few of uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuussssss!

Will fix it together baby.... yeah!

Yeeaaaaaahhhh, with just a few of us........... hey!

http://youtu.be/iZ9vmMllvxg

 

 

GOTTA HAVE A PUMP... ie George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic as Appliantologists

 

 

 

Money for Nothing
or what if Dire Straights were appliantogists. 

 

(I want my old Geee Eeee) 

Now look at them yo-yo's, that's the way you do it
You push those buttons on that new LG
That ain't workin', that's the way you do it
Money for nothin', and your checks for free.

Now that ain't workin', that's the way you do it
Lemme tell ya, them guys ain't dumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb.

We gotta open up washers... fridges...ovens. 
Change all the parts and fix if lucky. 
But how you fix them new refrigerators? 
What's that one got, a color T.V.??  (repeat verse) 

I shoulda learned to use diagnostics 
I shoulda learned to use my thumbs
Look at that guy, he's got diagrams on camera? 
Man,  I need to get me one. 

And he's up there, what's that?  Beeping noises?
He's bangin' on those buttons like a chimpanzee 
Oh that ain't workin', that's the way you do it
Get your money for nothin',  and your checks for free.

We gotta open up  washers... fridges...ovens.
Change all the parts and fix if lucky. 
But how you fix new refrigerators?  
What's that thing there, a color T.V.??.

(guitar solo and a loud  "yeeeee hawwww!")

 Listen here
Now that ain't workin', that's the way to do it 
You push those buttons on that new LG
That ain't workin', that's the way you do it
Money for nothin', and your  checks for free 

 

Money for nothin',  large checks for free

Get your Money for nothin',  large checks for free

look at that.... look at that..

Money for nothin',  large checks for free

 I want my... , I want my... , I want my old GE
 I want my... , I want my... , I want my old GE 

 

 

 

What a Wonderful Whirl(pool) ie Satchmo reflecting on his beloved direct drive Whirlpool washer he owned for years

I see GE's of green, red Bosch's too

All of them for sale, should I recycle you?

And I think to myself

What a wonderful Whirl

I see Samsungs of blue, and LG's of white

Not to buy one today, takes all of my might

Then I think to myself

What a wonderful Whirl

The colors of new washers, so pretty as the sky

They work great for a moment, then breakdown and die

I see salesmen asking, "How do you do?"

They're really sayin' , "come, we'll sucker you."

I hear buyers cryin' from spending lots of dough

They'll learn much more, than I'll ever know

And I think to myself

What a wonderful Whirl

Yes, I think to myself

What a wonderful Whirl

Oh yeah

 

 

Thinking about buying another and very expensive dolly. Then I came to the conclusion that I'll keep the one I have for a bit longer. It's been good to me. Anyway, someone stole my stereo out of my truck a while back. I'm still devastated. so until I replace it, i entertain myself by coming up with silly songs.. and you guys must suffer and feel my pain so.....

Hello Appliance Dolly ie If the great Louis Satchmo Armstrong was an appliantologist

I said hello, dolly,......well, hello, dolly

It's so nice you keep my back where it belongs

You're lookin' swell, dolly.......I can tell, dolly

You're still strollin'...you're still rollin'...you're still goin' strong

You keep the fridge from swayin'.. although your cinch-band is frayin'

From an accident we had once way back when

So.... connect the strap, fellas.......buckle up the snaps, fellas

Then dolly'll never roll away again.....

(trumpet solo while I do the ol' soft shoe routine)

.......................sFun_crazydance.gif......................

So.... connect the strap, fellas.......buckle up the snaps, fellas

Then dolly'll never roll away........let another fridge fall away

and I'll never owe a customer all my pay, again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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DurhamAppliance

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so Everybodys posting with the Samurai

Everybody here is out of sight

We dont bark and we dont bite

We keep things loose, we keep things lite

so Everybody's posting with the Samurai

Posting with the Samurai

Appliantology makes us smart and bright

It's such a fine and useful site

so Everybody's posting with the Samurai

We like our fun and we never fight

you cant post here and stay uptight

Your stove won't heat? Check out this site

so everybody's posting with the Samurai

Posting with the Samurai

Appliantology makes us smart and bright

Your washer's broke? We'll make it right

So Everybody's posting with the Samurai

[time to pull out that air guitar and solo!]

Everybody here is out of sight

We dont bark and we dont bite

Fridge too warm? So log on tonight

where Everybody's posting with the Samurai

Posting with the Samurai

Appliantology makes us smart and bright

It's such a fine and useful site

so Everybody's posting with the Samurai

[repeat last verse a few times, ad lib, moan a bit then fade]

 

 

 

 

 

We all want to grow our companies,  but finding and keeping either qualified techs or finding anyone that posseses even the slightest work ethic is a difficult,  near impossible task.  This song laments this sad state of affairs but also is a tribute to the recent passing of one of the greats. 

Whirlpool Drain (or if Prince was an Appliantologist looking for good help) 

Maybe you never meant to cause me any sorrow
Maybe you never meant to cause me any pain
I only wanted to one time see you working
I only wanted to see you
working on a Whirlpool Drain

Whirlpool Drain, Whirlpool Drain
Whirlpool Drain, Whirlpool Drain
Whirlpool Drain, Whirlpool Drain 
I only wanted to see you
Steaming up a Whirlpool Drain 

I never wanted to be a hard-assed employer
But neither could I be some kind of friend
Now please go away,  go work for another
For your employment with me has end

Whirlpool Drain, Whirlpool Drain
Whirlpool Drain, Whirlpool Drain
Whirlpool Drain, Whirlpool Drain
I only wanted to see you
Underneath a Whirlpool Drain

Dude, I know, I know
I know  appliances are changing
It's time we all reach out
to learn something new, that means you too

You say you want me to teach you
But you can't seem to make up your mind
So I think you better pack it
Since you can't even Ptrap a Whirlpool Drain

Whirlpool Drain, Whirlpool Drain
Whirlpool Drain, Whirlpool Drain
Service Owners, if know what I'm singing about up here
C'mon, raise your hand

Whirlpool Drain, Whirlpool Drain
I only want to have one
Only want to see one
Working on a Whirlpool Drain

 

 

 


How Deep is Your Lint? or Dyer Fire ie Bee Gees as Appliantologists

I believe that you
Don't want your doors to be charcoal
Or see the light from a fire in the darkest hour
Nor want your house to fall
And you may not think we care for you
When you know down inside
That we really do

Then it's time for you to show
How deep is your lint
How deep is your lint
You really need to know
Because your dryer is a major tool
That'll burn your house down
When it should always be lint free
If you love your family.

How deep is your lint?
 

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