Begin your journey to appliance repair mastery…

Click here to check out our structured, online appliance repair training courses for rookies and experienced techs.

FAQs | Repair Videos | Academy | Newsletter | Podcast | Contact

Stay connected with us...

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for lots of appliance repair tips and help! Subscribe to our MST Radio podcast to learn secrets of the trade. Sign up for our free newsletter and keep up with all things Appliantology.
  • Announcements

    • Samurai Appliance Repair Man

      Webinar Recordings Index Page   11/07/2017

      On-demand appliance repair training videos for Professional Appliantologist members Over 30 hours (and growing!) of original, high quality appliance training webinars developed and given by yours truly are at your fingertips, on topics you won't find anywhere else. Fill in those knowledge gaps, strengthen those areas of uncertainty, and boost your skills. Watch on mobile or desktop at your convenience whenever, wherever.  Ultra Short Primer on Basic Electricity, Circuits, Ohm's Law, and Schematic Reading (Length: 1:04:48) Basic Refrigerator Troubleshooting (Length: 1:10:45) Schematic Reading Workshop, 10/2015 (Length 1:19:08) Troubleshooting Strategies for Computer-Controlled Appliances (Length: 48:34) Semiconductors and PN Junctions (Length: 1:04:37) Appliance Temperature Sensing Devices & Technology (Length: 1:27:33) Voltage Measurements, Meters, Ghost Voltages, and Triac-controlled Neutrals (Length: 1:29:32) Troubleshooting with Tech Sheets, Part 1, 4/2016 (Length: 1:09:26) Troubleshooting with Tech Sheets, Part 2, 4/2016 (Length: 1:21:11) Tech Sheet Review, 4/9/2016: Bosch Speed Cooker, Amana Refrigerator, GE Glass Cooktop Range (Length: 1:22:58) Pulse Width Modulated (PWM) Switches used in Samsung Switched Mode Power Supplies (SMPS) (Length: 27:07) PWM Computer Cooling Fan in a Whirlpool Refrigerator (Length: 14:53) Understanding AC Split-phase Household Power Supplies (Length: 52:41) Troubleshooting a Samsung Electric Dryer without Disassembly using Live Tests and the Schematic (Length: 22:47) Troubleshooting a Bosch Dishwasher No-Heat Problem using the Schematic and Live Tests (Length: 15:38) Linear Motors and Linear Compressors (Length: 55:54) Bi-directional PSC Drive Motor Systems in Whirlpool VM Washers (Length: 56:52) Appliance Service Call Structure and Troubleshooting Strategies (Length: 1:00:16) The Ten Step Troubleshooting Tango and Workshop Exercises (Length: 1:35:39) Troubleshooting Ten-Step Tango Advanced Workshop (Length: 1:32:06) Ten-Step Tango Troubleshooting Workshop: Refrigerators (Length: 1:35:57) Whirlpool Duet Washer Schematic Analysis & Whirlpool Dryer Moisture Sensor System (Length: 1:03:04) Neutral Vs. Ground, Inverter Microwave, Digital Communications, Loading Down in DC loads, and more! (Length: 1:14:45) Gas Oven Service Call After a Parts Changing Monkey (Length: 36:04) AFCI and GFCI Circuit Protection Technology (Length: 41:26) Troubleshooting Samsung Refrigerators and more (Length: 1:29:58) 3-way Valves and Dual Evaporator Refrigerators (Length: 1:15:45) Split-Phase Compressors and PTC Start Devices (Length: 1:11:57) Gas Dryer Ignition Systems (Length: 53:50) Refrigerator Sealed System Thermodynamics, Part 1 (Length: 43:07) Refrigerator Sealed System Thermodynamics, Part 2 (Length: 1:09:09) Refrigerator Sealed System Thermodynamics, Part 3 (Length: 1:11:56) Refrigerator Sealed System Thermodynamics, Part 4 (Length: 37:45) Refrigerator Sealed System Thermodynamics, Part 5 (Length: 16:35) To access these webinars and all the other info-goodies here at Appliantology, become a Professional Appliantologist today. If you need cost-effective, time-flexible, state-of-the-art appliance technical training, check out the Master Samurai Tech Academy.
    • Son of Samurai

      [Webinar] Appliantology Peer Group   02/08/2018

        We're doing something totally new this time! In this first ever meeting of the Appliantology Peer Group, we'll be hosting a roundtable-style question and answer webinar. Bring something you'd like to share with your brethren in the craft: it could be photos, a tech tip, new insights gleaned from recent training -- anything having to do with the business or technical sides of the appliance repair trade. If you've got something to show, we'll let you share your screen and give you the opportunity to teach us all something new. And of course, Team Samurai will be there to answer any questions you might have about how to use Appliantology.  
    • Son of Samurai

      Free Tech Membership at Appliantology   02/13/2018

      There are now three different ways to get a tech membership at Appliantology for free! How do you get in on this deal? Click the link below to find out.  

Moostafa's Hookah Tent

  • entries
    3
  • comments
    8
  • views
    1,499

Islamic "Bacon"

Moostafa

1,194 views

Hello, my infidel friends. Today, I would like to share with you a sad tale which illustrates the cultural distinction between the low-brow Arab people and the much more refined Pashtun and Tajik tribes of Afghanistan:

 

Quote

 

Customs officers at the Hamad International Airport, in the Qatari capital, have arrested a Yemeni man attempting to smuggle more than 12 kilograms (27 lbs) of sliced bacon hidden in his anal cavity.

53-year old Abd al Rahman Shamoun, was spotted by a specially trained police dog, looking for drugs or pork meat on passengers and in their luggage.

He appeared visibly nervous and sweaty, so the customs took him in a separate office for a more thorough search and investigation.

The search revealed 4 larges condoms hidden in his anal cavity, each containing more than 3 kilograms of bacon.

qatar3-2.jpg

 

The full story is published here.

You see, here in Afghanistan we do not have such problems as discussed in the above article, for we consume the "bacon" of male yak. Since it is made not from pigs, our "bacon" is halal, that is, it is permitted under the Sharia laws of Allah, the Merciful and Compassionate, who irritates the bowels of the wicked.

This article is but one of many examples of Arab dull-wittedness. Had Abd al Rahman Shamoun known about the enlightened Afghani yak "bacon" delicacy, he would not have needed to smuggle the unclean pig flesh in his even more unclean rectum. 

It is true that my sand-slinging Arabian brethren have a rather difficult time telling the two flesh meats apart since they have no yaks in Arab countries. But penis of yak is an ancient delicacy among the the Pashtun and Tajik peoples of Afghanistan. 

large.57715cbae54f0_yakpenis.png.6fbcc09

Although harvesting the "bacon" of male yaks leaves them neutered and impotent, the smoky, salty delicacy is a cherished part of our tribal bonding rituals.

I would like to point out the squirreling away of items in one’s rectum is an age-old technique of my people to hide our possessions, few they may be, from the many infidel invaders who have troubled our country in the past. It is part of the standard education of all boys here in genteel Afghanistan. Yes, I remember being a young boy and the extreme discomfort whenever I sat down.

This man in the news article was–how do you say in Ameedica–an amateur. While I was in the elite Appliance Repair Corps of the feared Mujahideen warriors, I once carried my entire tool bag in my rectum for 50 miles past military checkpoints just to repair one, smelly washing machine. I have never been structurally the same since that day though. We shall see what happens to the man in this article, for my keffiyeh-wearing cousins are known to overreact.

Allahu Akbar!

Moostafa



3 Comments


Recommended Comments

Richard Demint

Posted

what the heck is this crap? Oh my how far have you gone wise men?

Share this comment


Link to comment

Well if they banned bacon here I might consider it too, can't say I blame him. 

Share this comment


Link to comment