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Showing results for tags 'Happy Holloween'.
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Chiller (The Craven pt 2) an appliance related tale of horror
DurhamAppliance posted a topic in DIY Appliance Repair Help
It's been a while since I relayed my experience in The Craven. http://appliantology.org/topic/34555-the-craven-an-appliance-related-tale-of-horror/ Since that time, many things have happened. I married my sweetheart, we did not get a high end fridge and I've been on many scary repairs. Most of them too frightful to share. However, I will tell you this tale. The memory of it still keeps me awake at nights . I must now be forever vigilant. One day I received a call for a repair. Sort of strange call but, hey, there's money to be made. The customer, a sort of monotoned fellow said he was building a wine chiller out of some fridge parts but his compressor just clicks. At least that's what I thought he was saying. No biggie, I'll replace the start relay. I arrived at his house.. Man, what a dump and the customer's appearance was, well, shocking....had a large slot-like gash on his head and all he did was stare. When I asked him if he was okay..he said "downstairs." He stared at me and without looking away, pointed at a creaky dark stairway. I was relieved he stayed at the top. He's not the type of fellow I want behind me. As I descended, I came upon a door. But then I heard the staring man say..."no.. more down ...you go more". So I go down. I came to another door and looked up at stare-man. I could barely see him except for those glowing staring eyes...and he said.."no... go more...more down...all way." I finally get to the smelly dank bottom floor. I see a few wine bottles, fridge pieces and what looks like a GE profile fridge that had the double doors replaced by a large single door. I opened the door and it had only one large compartment but the nastiness inside cannot be described by words meant for man. Roaches, worms, slugs and maggots seemed quite at home inside and they were all feasting on some sort of putrid gelatinous carcass. I turned around to yell upstairs , but the staring man was r beside me. Startled, I said "hey......" He chanted "master say fix, master say die," pushed me inside the cooler, smashing my head against the back wall......and now....... The Chiller ( The Craven , pt II) ie if Vincent Price was an appliantologist when he recited the poem from Thriller Darkness fall as hard I land Unconsciousness is close at hand Creatures crawl in search of blood To Terrorize or implant their brood And if I ever shall be found A half eaten corpse, soul hell-bound Can I stand and fight these denizens of hell? Or rot inside this foul fridge shell? The stench of hate is in the air Unholy bred hate of forty thousand years. Sending forth maggots to infest my wounds Torturing me, sealing my doom And though I fight to stay alive My body starts to shiver Can one mere mortal resist The evil of this chiller? I cry out in vain, I can't be heard And less fresh air with every word. Must think through pain, through foul bites and blister Then one thought comes, the thought "thermistor." What does it mean, why come to me Being sent to hell and think Appliantology? I find one wire, yank it clean the earth shakes....... a recognizable scream... "I know you foul board, I remember you well!" Did I not send you screaming to the pits of hell?" "I turned half-dead as you threw me away The man you saw found me one day He made a fridge to keep his wine cool He needed a board, I needed a fool. I've come for you, your soul is mine You sent me to hell, I'll repay in kind" "I care not for what you seek But I know now, what makes you weak I'll snatch another sensor, you Satan-spawned board Remove this infestation, recall your horde" The maggots receded from my open wounds The door sprang open not a moment too soon I fall into the room, the life giving fresh air And standing there laughing was the man with the stare.