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FRIGIDAIRE TONIGHT (ie Phil Collins as an appliantologist singing a cautionary tale about an unprepared tech) (click video then scroll down to the lyrics) Got a call to fix a Frigidaire tonight, oh Lord Should have prepared for this moment at Samurai's site, oh Lord Here I come to fix your Frigidaire tonight, oh Lord , oh Lord Well you told me your fresh food was freezing, asked if I would lend a hand I've seen your face before my friend, but I don't know if you know who I am So when I get there and I saw what it did, I saw it with my own two eyes So you better wipe off that grin 'cause I don't think I'll win For this manual is a pack of lies. Got a call to fix a Frigidaire tonight, oh Lord Should've prepared for this moment at Samurai's site, oh Lord But I come to fix your Frigidaire tonight, oh Lord Well I've been dreading of this moment with all my might, oh Lord, oh Lord I must remember, I must remember to test lest I will forget Check first the damper, the ADC, the fridge thermostat Still don't know the reason why the fan won't silence up, it's trying to fool me Well the answer won't show, and the frost still grows It's the strangest damn thing to me Got a call to fix a Frigidaire tonight, oh Lord Should've prepared for this moment at Samurai's site, oh Lord Here I come to fix your Frigidaire tonight, oh Lord I've been dreading of this moment with all my might, oh Lord, oh Lord Still I come to fix Your Frigidaire tonight, oh Lord Should have prepared for this moment at Samurai's site, oh Lord, oh Lord Got a call to fix a Frigidaaiirree! Got a call to fix a Frigidaaiiiirrre! Well I've been dreading of this moment with all my might ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight ight iiiiiiight! Should have prepared for this moment at Samurai's site.... at his siiiiiiiiiite... WITH JUST A FEW OF US or if Grover Washington Jr (featuring Bill Withers) was an Appliantologist (scroll, down and watch the video of brother KurtiusInterupptus show us just a taste of his amazing chops... and I mean this is but a fraction of what this dude can do! ) Your freezer's temps will not fall Fresh food side won't cool at all We know you think your fridge is through To make that decision in your mind We think you should give it a little time And let us spend that time with you With Just a few of us You can fix it if you try With just a few of us (With just a few of us) With just a few of us Sending help from out the sky With just a few of us And Samurai. Use our help, no time for tears Wasted water's all that is And it don't make no compressor go. Good things might come to those who wait Not for those who wait too late So put to use the things we know With just a few of us You can fix it if you try With just a few of us (With just a few of us) With just a few of us Sending help from out the sky With just a few of us And Samurai. You still don't hear ice cubes fall In your fridge down the hall Condensation grows like morning dew But through our help when the morning comes By the time you see the morning sun Your fridge will cool as if brand new. With Just a few of us You have fixed it 'cause you tried With just a few of us (With just a few of us) With just a few of us Sent down help from way up high Just a few of us And Samurai. With just a few of us Yeaaaaaahhhhh just a few of uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuussssss! Will fix it together baby.... yeah! Yeeaaaaaahhhh, with just a few of us........... hey! http://youtu.be/iZ9vmMllvxg GOTTA HAVE A PUMP... ie George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic as Appliantologists Money for Nothing or what if Dire Straights were appliantogists. (I want my old Geee Eeee) Now look at them yo-yo's, that's the way you do it You push those buttons on that new LG That ain't workin', that's the way you do it Money for nothin', and your checks for free. Now that ain't workin', that's the way you do it Lemme tell ya, them guys ain't dumb Maybe get a blister on your little finger Maybe get a blister on your thumb. We gotta open up washers... fridges...ovens. Change all the parts and fix if lucky. But how you fix them new refrigerators? What's that one got, a color T.V.?? (repeat verse) I shoulda learned to use diagnostics I shoulda learned to use my thumbs Look at that guy, he's got diagrams on camera? Man, I need to get me one. And he's up there, what's that? Beeping noises? He's bangin' on those buttons like a chimpanzee Oh that ain't workin', that's the way you do it Get your money for nothin', and your checks for free. We gotta open up washers... fridges...ovens. Change all the parts and fix if lucky. But how you fix new refrigerators? What's that thing there, a color T.V.??. (guitar solo and a loud "yeeeee hawwww!") Listen here Now that ain't workin', that's the way to do it You push those buttons on that new LG That ain't workin', that's the way you do it Money for nothin', and your checks for free Money for nothin', large checks for free Get your Money for nothin', large checks for free look at that.... look at that.. Money for nothin', large checks for free I want my... , I want my... , I want my old GE I want my... , I want my... , I want my old GE What a Wonderful Whirl(pool) ie Satchmo reflecting on his beloved direct drive Whirlpool washer he owned for years I see GE's of green, red Bosch's too All of them for sale, should I recycle you? And I think to myself What a wonderful Whirl I see Samsungs of blue, and LG's of white Not to buy one today, takes all of my might Then I think to myself What a wonderful Whirl The colors of new washers, so pretty as the sky They work great for a moment, then breakdown and die I see salesmen asking, "How do you do?" They're really sayin' , "come, we'll sucker you." I hear buyers cryin' from spending lots of dough They'll learn much more, than I'll ever know And I think to myself What a wonderful Whirl Yes, I think to myself What a wonderful Whirl Oh yeah Thinking about buying another and very expensive dolly. Then I came to the conclusion that I'll keep the one I have for a bit longer. It's been good to me. Anyway, someone stole my stereo out of my truck a while back. I'm still devastated. so until I replace it, i entertain myself by coming up with silly songs.. and you guys must suffer and feel my pain so..... Hello Appliance Dolly ie If the great Louis Satchmo Armstrong was an appliantologist I said hello, dolly,......well, hello, dolly It's so nice you keep my back where it belongs You're lookin' swell, dolly.......I can tell, dolly You're still strollin'...you're still rollin'...you're still goin' strong You keep the fridge from swayin'.. although your cinch-band is frayin' From an accident we had once way back when So.... connect the strap, fellas.......buckle up the snaps, fellas Then dolly'll never roll away again..... (trumpet solo while I do the ol' soft shoe routine) ............................................. So.... connect the strap, fellas.......buckle up the snaps, fellas Then dolly'll never roll away........let another fridge fall away and I'll never owe a customer all my pay, again.